we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
