Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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