Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
