Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
