I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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