im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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