Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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