Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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