The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
