I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
