if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
