the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
