You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
