I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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