If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize