i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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