Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
