i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think my vagina is haunted
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize