Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
