My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
