Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
