I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
