who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
