I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
