I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Sorry my hands just texted you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
