My brain says no but my pants say off.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
