do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
