Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Michael Bay diarrhea
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
