i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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