i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
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