The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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