I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He did a backflip because drugs
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