I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
