So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
