on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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