I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
