Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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