He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Dicks are not precious.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
