I got chris browned last night
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
