Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
