I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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