he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
