You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
where am i from again
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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