saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
