Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
