I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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