I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
