after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
