Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I think i got beer on your cat.
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