All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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