to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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