I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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