You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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