Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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