i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
