lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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