So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
