I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize