Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
