I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
