I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
