Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
