ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
