they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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