to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
