I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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