If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
COCAINE IS GR8
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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