I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I will be naked everywhere
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
