Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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