There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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