Cold hands, warm shart.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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